I read a couple statistics the other day in a book by the barna group and I was floored. In fact I am still floored by what I read.
38% of practicing Christians seriously consider adoption
5% of practicing Christians adopted a child
31% of practicing Christians seriously consider becoming a foster parent
3% of practicing Christians became a foster parent
*Becoming home by: Jedd Medefind
So these people aren't just thinking oh that would be nice they are taking the time to really consider what that means but very few will actually follow through. So that begs the question why? What holds them back? I actually asked a group of pastors this last week and the first answer I heard was fear. And you know what he is right. I know because I almost let fear take over. Dustin and I knew the LORD was calling us into foster care but I was scared. We stopped and started the process. I had tons of reasons not to then Dustin had reasons. We almost let fear win but I am so glad we didn't.
When I sit and think what if I had let fear win I am brought to my knees and filled with tears. If I had let fear win we would be a totally different family. Was foster care hard. Yes. Is adoption simple and straight forward. Not at all. But every bit of it is worth it. All of the sacrifice all of the unknowns I would do them all over again. The lessons I learned and continue to learn about love and life are worth so much. And the blessings oh the blessings. To watch these sweet children grow together and learn about life together.
SO today I challenge you to pray this. LORD what am I letting fear keep me from? LORD help me to step out in faith with courage to walk in the calling you have for my life.
It's that time of year when I try to pick up my blog and try to blog everyday. I might be successful and I might not be but I will do my best. This year I am going to try to tackle some new ideas this year. If you have a subject surrounding foster care and adoption you would like me to tackle let me know and I will do my best. I will even try to rope the hubby into writing a post this month.
So I will leave this post plain and simple I challenge everyone to pray this month. Pray everyday for orphans. For children who find themselves in foster care. For parents who have had their children removed from their home. For Judges. For Social workers. For foster parents. For adoptive parents. For everyone else involved with children in the varying forms of care. And as we should always do ask the LORD what he is calling you to do.
4 years ago Thanksgiving week took on a new meaning for our family. Om November 25th 2011 the phone rang and a sweet social worker asked me if we would be willing to take a newborn baby boy for a week. I said yes and agreed to meet her at the hospital a few hours later. After arriving at the hospital I quickly learned this would not be a week long engagement. Though as foster care always is it was unknown how long this sweet boy would actually stay. Needless to say our sweet Trevor changed our lives forever.
I am so thankful for my sweet boy and so thankful for an unknown journey that led me to a place of having a deeper relationship with my heavenly Father. When I was handed this sweet baby boy as I sat in a rocking chair and I looked into his eyes and promised to love him I had no idea how many other amazing people and life lessons were coming with him. He is my blue eyed curly headed boy. With tons of energy and yet almost half the day today he cuddled on my lap just because. Oh what would my life be without him...I am so thankful I will never know.
Everyday the headlines are full of all sorts of atrocities. But there is one headline you will rarely ever see. One headline no one wants to read about. "Slavery is alive and well in America" In america there are approximately 300,000-400,000 children commercially sexually exploited. That number brings me to my knees.
This is national adoption month, and you may be asking yourself why in the world I am talking about sex trafficking during a month dedicated to celebrating adoption. Well here is your answer in the form of another statistic; 98% of children who are identified as survivors of sex trafficking had previous involvement with child welfare services.
Have you ever thought about what happens to the children who aren't adopted that are in our child welfare system? Did you know that 5 is considered old when speaking of foster children?
As followers of Christ we are called to defend the cause of the orphan. Not everyone is called to adopt but we are all called to do something. And knowing that if 1 family in every 3 churches adopted we would have no more children waiting in America, I think its fair to say we aren't answering the call.
This video may be hard to watch but we have been ignoring this reality for far to long.
Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17
Some people might think I am being a little extreme when I say we should really try to fulfill foster youths needs with new things. Well I will do my best to explain why this could make all the difference for these young men and women.
So to start I would like you to imagine a 6 year old little girl. She has two younger siblings, they are 3 and 1. She goes to school everyday and is in the first grade. She loves playing with dolls and all things sparkly. Her clothes are tattered and they smell of smoke and must. When she gets home from school her "chores" await her. She changes diapers, gets bottles, prepares dinner, and tries to clean up the house. This is all while her parents are so loaded they have no idea what is going on and when they happen to be more aware they are usually fighting.
One night things get out of control, the neighbors call law enforcement who arrive with a social worker in tow. The social worker takes the children to the office and starts making phone calls to find a foster home. They find a home for the 1 and 3 year old but they can't take the 6 year old too. The children are separated. You see in the world of foster care 6 is old.
So fast forward a few years. The biological parents are unable to reunify with their children, the 1 and 3 year old siblings have been adopted together, but the sweet 6 year old is now 8 and has lived in 4 different homes. With every move she sinks deeper into herself. She wonders why no one loves her. Is she unlovable? She starts to try to cause the rejection in new homes. Almost like trying to rip the band aid off hoping it won't hurt so badly the next time someone gives up on her.
So there you have it an 8 year old little girl who feels as though no one will ever love and that all she is worth is second best. At this point she will likely continue to bounce from home to home. Growing up in foster care never feeling like she has a place to call home.
What would it mean to this sweet girl if someone came into her life and handed her something new. A pair of pants she looked at but felt she wasn't worth. Those beautiful boots. Or that trendy jacket. What if we treated her as we did our own children instead of cleaning out our closets of unwanted out of date clothing we got her something new. Something she desired.
That right there is why I believe it is so important to buy foster youth new things. Things they desire no matter how silly we may think it seems. Many of these children have never been given something new their whole life. So when you hear a 16 year old girl in foster care is asking for Doc Martins don't brush it off and say she should be happy with whatever she gets. Think about the sweet girl who has been rejected so many times that she feels unlovable.
If you think I am being extreme please ask me and I will share personal stories where I know that the simple act of something new made a difference for a child.
On Friday November 22nd we adopted our twins. A boy and a girl named Luke and Ava.
This year we completed two adoptions! Life is wild when you truly say yes to wherever the LORD leads. Many people tell us we are blessing these sweet children, but I am here to tell you it is the other way around. Trevor, Luke, and Ava have brought more joy into our lives then I could have ever dreamed of! We have gained Aunties and Uncles. Cousins and Grandparents. Our heart is full with the love that surrounds us. What has happened through our adoptions is not of this world.
Adoption is love. Just as we are adopted as sons and daughters of God because of his great love for us. To quote a friend adoption takes something broken and makes it whole.
So here we are all 7 Stone's
Isaiah 61:3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of Joy
instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor.
Praise our LORD for he trades beauty for ashes! May all 5 of our children follow him all the days of their lives and may they bring him glory in all they do.
James 1:27 "Religion God our Father finds pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."
Our Father in heaven does not want us to sing the right songs, wear the right clothes, be friends with the right people, have our children be perfectly behaved, or a long list of other to-dos. He wants us to love the least of these (Matthew 25:40). We get so consumed with looking "good" or "right" that we forget the heart of our father. I think Francis Chan said it best when he said "Adoption is the gospel message". Our Father in heaven did not create orphans when he created the world. They are a result of the entrance of sin. But there is good news there is redemption and God our Father loves to make beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3). I know not everyone is called to adoption but I do believe more are called then those who actually respond. During this month I will lay out ways to help that include adoption and then alternatives if you are unable to do so. I have one simple challenge on this Orphan Sunday. Pray a very simple prayer.
"LORD how are you calling me to help orphans in my community and abroad. Please release me from any fear that has kept me from answering your call on my life."
It's a scary prayer I know. One day we prayed that prayer and we went from wanting to adopt to saying we would foster and didn't need a "safe" case. It's a wild adventure caring for orphans no matter how the LORD is calling you to help. But it is an awesome adventure. The LORD is passionate about the fatherless so when we partner with him we become closer to him and that is the best part!
This is the day we brought home our sweet Trevor...he was supposed to stay for about a week. We adopted him 7/26/2013 :)
Last year I tried to blog everyday in November about orphans and adoption. So lets do this again. Today will be simple since it is already 9:30 and I am exhausted! I know I only have 5 kids I shouldn't be exhausted.
So lets just start with me being thankful that we finalized our sweet sons adoption on July 26th of this year!!! Here are some photos of the wonderful day!
20 months to the day we brought our sweet Trevor home from the hospital we finalized his adoption. On Friday July 26th we promised to love Trevor as our own. In some ways it seemed so silly since we already loved him as our own since the day we met him. But in other ways it was so powerful to promise in front of family and friends to love him forever and sign papers that made him legal our son.
It was another picture of God's redemptive plan for his people through Jesus. We are adopted into Gods family and loved us as his own. But then there is this huge powerful moment where the depth and the power of what that means is revealed through the holy spirit. It is a moment that changes you forever and that is what our day before the judge was, a day that changed us forever.
Ephesians 1:5 "God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure."
I discovered a new non-profit today that works with foster children and foster parents. Their goal is not to just recruit more loving homes for these children who need a family but to support the families who want to love them. As well as impacting the lives of the foster children in the system. They have some creative ideas that I would love to see happen in Santa Cruz.
My favorite thing they do is called Tuesday night suppers. They go into the group homes cook with the kids in the group home, eat with them, and then play board games with them.
There are so many ways we can help these children!
How will you step outside your comfort zone and love these kiddos?
So Today is November 30th the last day of national adoption month. I have blogged almost everyday and today will be my final blog in the series on Adoption. Today I want to deal with the call to foster care and adoption (international, domestic, and any other way it can happen). This is a ministry I feel many are called to, yet few answer the call.
Often times we think or say "It is a broken system full of corruption, how can I make a difference?" Well you can be the one that isn't corrupt. If it is international adoption you can make sure that your child isn't a trafficked child. You can do this by making sure your agency is upstanding and does due diligence some people even hire their own personal private investigator. If you are going to adopt domestically through the foster care system you can be that safe family. You can be the one that stands up for what is right. The LORD never promised that when he called us into ministry it would be safe. In fact it is just the opposite. We are living a life devoted to the LORD. It isn't comfortable or safe when you love with your whole heart, but it is full of purpose and blessings. In Roman times unwanted children were left to die in fields and on the side of roads, Christians adopted these children and at the risk of death. I think that the risks we are taking are far smaller then some of our ancestors.
In response to fear we should turn to God's word for answers.
Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for i am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous hand.
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the LORD your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you Do Not Fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 43:1-2 But now, this is what the LORD says he who created you, O Jacob, he formed you, O Israel: "Fear not for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters , I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers they will not sweep over you. when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
Do you believe these promises? If you do then the call should not bring up fear, but anticipation for what the LORD will do through you.
International or domestic you are dealing with a broken system because this is a broken world. Don't run the other way because the system is broken. The children in the system need you. They need love, they need hope, they need healing. Brokenness should draw you in because the answer to brokenness lives in you and through you.
I could put all the verses that talk about defending the fatherless and taking care of the orphan but you already know that list is endless. So I will just put one verse up that I think sums it all up.
James 1:27a Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress...
I was at an adoption prayer group the other day and two ladies shared what their husbands said about adopting "Our lives are too easy, our lives are not meant to be easy." I thought this was such a neat way to look at life. Why are we always looking to make our lives easier? The LORD did not call us to an easy life. He did not call us to a life free from hurts. What He did promise was to redeem and bring beauty from ashes. He also promised to be with us as we walked through trials.
The orphan issue can be overwhelming when we look at the numbers, so don't look at the numbers anymore just resolve to make a difference in just one orphans life. I challenge you to just take in one orphan if you are feeling called. Maybe it will be through foster care, or maybe you will travel to Ethiopia or Russia. It may be a baby or a teenager. Maybe you know a teenager who may not be up for "adoption" in the legal sense but you know they are lacking a family. There are so many ways this can look.
I hope this song will encourage you to not let fear overcome. You can adopt not because you have the ability or the time but because the LORD will equip you. "The God of angel armies is always by your side."
John 14:18 I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
Today is black Friday. The day when Americans go out and shop to get the best deals for the things they "need" oh how our priorities are off. When there are children without homes we call the new TV a need? Maybe just maybe if we understood the true meaning of the word need we would be able to see that we are overflowing and we have no lack of need. There are things we may want but not things we need. I am guilty of this too. In fact this year I was guilty of saying "Honey I think we need a flat screen I mean they are so cheap right now." So really what I should have said was "wow flat screens are so cheap it would be nice to get one."
My challenge today as we go into the gift buying frenzy is to remember that there are some children who will receive no gifts and have no family. A child without a place to call home is someone in need not a family without a flat screen.
If you have adopted a child or are thinking about adoption or foster care please do not be afraid of the child’s biological family. The one who messed up or has struggles which placed the child in your care is not indicative of the rest of his or her family. I am speaking from experience, my brother is an addict. He cannot take care of himself, let alone a child. The system truly works sometimes and in my case it has been a blessing. A beautiful family with open arms welcomed the baby into their home. With an open and trusting heart they let me be involved with the baby and as a result, the baby has an even bigger family to love him. Give family members a chance and if they respect your boundaries and love the child then you will receive blessings as well. There is no such thing as too much love!
A little window into what it looks and feels like when you get a call. When we said we would take calls we got our first call a few weeks later. The first call was for a 2 year old and then that fell through in a sense. The second phone call came a few days later and that was for little man. It is a whirlwind when you get the phone calls and we have had time to prepare. It's this crazy thing where often you don't even have a name just a gender and an age and you already care so much. You want them to be safe and feel safe. You want them to be fed, and warm, and you can't wait to hold them in your arms.
So if your wondering if you will be able to love enough or if your love will come right away. Well I didn't realize that it would come with a phone call stating the gender and age so I think you will be fine :)
The worst crisis in the foster care system is what happens to the teenagers when they are on their own. Today I want to focus on a ministry that is very close to my heart, ReGenesis Rising. ReGenesis Rising is an organization that meets these youth as they "age out" of the foster-care system. They give these youth a home, a mentor and so much more.
I could sing their praises all day long but the truth is they are just being obedient to the LORD. I know many involved personally and can attest to their upstanding character and their desire to seek the LORD in all they do.
A few months back I posted some staggering statistics about children who age out of the foster-care system. Here they are again so you can see how devastating this crisis is.
On any given day more than 500,000 youth are in some form of foster care across the United States. Nearly 80,000 live in California.
Nationally, each year an estimated 20,000 of these youth emancipate or “age out” of the foster care system, and are discharged into the world, whether or not they are prepared to transition to adulthood. 65% of them do so without a place to live and many don’t have the skills necessary to live on their own.
Over 70% of all state penitentiary inmates have spent time in the foster care system.
Over 40% of foster youth are moved 3 or more times and 11% are moved 5 times or more. It takes approximately 4-6 months for a child to recover academically after changing schools.
Former foster youth experience Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at a rate two times the level of U.S. war vets.
51% of the youth are unemployed within 2-4 years of emancipation.
67% of females who emancipated form the child welfare system had at least one baby within 5 years of leaving care.
Without housing, youth are less likely to complete their education, find employment, and gain access to health care, all of which jeopardize their ability to make a successful transition to adulthood.
Today I am asking that you pray about how you can be involved in the solution. Could you take in a foster youth so that they don't age out of the system? Could you mentor a teen? Could you help to start a ReGenesis where you live?
So that you aren't left without hope watch this video about hope rising at ReGenesis in Orange County.
Many times people say " I can't do fost/adopt because, what if the child leaves? It will break my heart and it will be so hard." Well you're right it will hurt. But I am here to tell you that's a good thing and you are the kind of parent who should be a foster parent. It will hurt because you will love them with your whole heart which is exactly what they need.
When we thought our little one might leave I fell apart; I was full of tears. And no one had said he was leaving for sure, there was just a chance. As a Christian I know those are the times I have to remember that none of my children are "mine". They are the LORDS. Would I wish I had not had one of my girls if I found out they were dying? No I would wish I had loved them more. I would be thankful for the time I had with them. Would it hurt? Of course it would but I would still be blessed by them. Take a minute to shift your thoughts from "my broken heart if they go," to "what this child needs is someone to love them with their whole heart."
If you think you would be heartbroken if/when a foster child left your home you are the perfect person for the job :)
November is national adoption month, so this month I am going to dedicate to blogging about adoption. My goal is to blog once a day. My hope is that your eyes and heart will be opened to the orphans of this county, state, country and world.
Today I would like to shed some light on some statistics. There was a recent youtube video titled 8 adoption facts that will surprise you. I will list the facts below and a link to the video. When reading the questions ask yourself how can I make a difference.
8 Adoption Facts that will Surprise you:
There are more orphans in sub-Saharan Africa than children in Denmark, Ireland, Norway, Canada, and Sweden combined.
For every child born in the US two are orphaned in Asia
There are more orphans in the world than there are people in the UK and France combined.
250,000 children are adopted each year, 14 million age out of the system. That's 14 million children that didn't get adopted.
There are more orphans in India than in the combined populations of the top 15 cities in the U.S.
Approximately 30,00 children "age out" of the American foster care system each year
More then 1/3 of Americans have considered adopting, but no more that 2% have actually adopted. Have you considered adoption? Maybe it's time to make that 2% higher?
If 1 family in every 3 US churches adopted a child, we would adopt every child in need of a family in the US! I am guessing that more than 1 family in every 3 churches is being called to adopt since the LORD is very clear that orphans are close to his heart.
Please take the time to pray and ask the LORD how he is calling to to defend the fatherless.
When we think of orphans we often think of babies. Sometimes we think of the 6, 7, 8, 9 year old. And then even more rarely we think of the teenager who is left with no one to take care of them, bouncing around foster homes, or maybe even living in a group home. But how often do you think about the 18 year old who aged out of the foster-care system and is now thrown into the world to be an "adult". These are the invisible orphans who often have no one stable in their life let alone a family. Here are few statistics to show you the impact this is having on our society.
The number of orphans:
On any given day more than 500,000 youth are in some form of foster care cross
the United States. Nearly 80,000 live in California.
Nationally, each year an estimated 20,000 of these youth emancipate or “age out” of
the foster care system, and are discharged from the system, whether or not they
are prepared to transition to adulthood. About 25% of these youth live in California
(In 2005, 4,249 youth emancipated from California’s foster care system).
What happens to the orphans:
Within 18 months of emancipation 40-50% of foster youth become homeless
Nationally, 27% of the homeless population spent time in foster care.
A history of foster care correlates with becoming homeless at an earlier age and
remaining homeless for a longer period of time.
65% of youth leaving foster care need immediate housing upon release.
70% of teens who emancipate from foster care report that they want to attend
college, but less than 50% complete their high school graduation and fewer than
10% of who graduate from high school enroll and college, and of those less than 1%
graduate from college.
50% of emancipated foster youth experience high rates of unemployment within 5
years of emancipation.
Forty-two percent (42%) of foster youth, including 60% of women, become parents
within 2.5-4 years after exiting care.
Parents with a history of foster care are almost twice as likely to see their own
children placed in foster care or become homeless than parents without this
history.
Females in foster care are six times more likely than the general population to give
birth before age 21.
25% of former foster youth will be incarcerated within the first 2 years of
emancipation.
I know that's a lot to take in but that is just the tip of the iceberg. So what do we do with this information? We decide to make a difference even if it is in a small way. The best part is when we are faithful to love God is faithful to do big things. Things that are bigger then we ever thought possible. ReGenisis rising in Orange County is a perfect example of this. For an example of what God can do with a few faithful people all you have to do is take a trip on over to their website.
