Our children are not our own: Loss and life

For the last almost 3 years our family has walked through a lot of loss and unexpected hard things with friends.  We have always had a heart for adoption but the LORD used this losses to change our idea of what that would look like.  Yesterday I was reminded again why we said we would take a child even if they didn't stay forever.  And that is because our children our not our own they are the LORDS we are just entrusted with their care for a time.

So here is a little window into our past 3 years or so.  My husbands college pastor's 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with a rare form a cancer that wound up taking her life earlier this year.  A dear friend was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and passed away a few months later. I was with another friend while she labored and her daughter was born into the arms of Jesus. Then this year a dear friend was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and she almost passed away more then once. A friend had a referral for and international adoption and before they were able to bring him home he went to be with the LORD.  And then most recently a friends child was given a diagnosis that was devastating about half way through her pregnancy.  He was born on Monday and they had wonderful hour with him before he went to be with the LORD.

Wow I look back at that and think how did all of that happen in such a short amount of time. I guess you might say "aren't you angry with God?"  I'm not mad, I do sometimes ask why, and then I remember this is a fallen world full of sickness and disease.  If the LORD answered me why I probably wouldn't understand.  I just need to trust him and lean on him. I try to remember the verse  "Jesus wept."  Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead yet he wept.

All of this loss has reminded my heart that my children belong to LORD that my husband belongs to the LORD.  My everything is the LORDS.  I need to savor each moment as if it were my last.  And in the midst of the tears to remember "Death has died and Love has won!"

I am thankful that one day there will be no more tears.  I am thankful that the LORD overcame death.  I am thankful that he grew babies in my tummy.  I am thankful that he placed babies in my home through adoption.  I am thankful he didn't tell me what that journey would have looked like or I might not have stepped out.  He has called us to put one foot in front of the other.  To treat every day as a gift.  And to not be afraid of death.

So today I will love my babies.  I will have parenthood parties on the oncology unit with my sweet friend.  I will care about the important things and not worry about the things that don't matter.  I will let go of religious rules and just love.  I won't try to be super-mom.  I will be vulnerable and real.  Today I will rebuke fear and step out in faith saying yes to wherever the LORD may lead.

I want to add that it is so often true that Joy and sorrow flow mingled down.  almost exactly two years ago our we received our first foster placement a baby boy.  We adopted him on July 26th of this year.  and in March his biological twin siblings were placed with us.  We will adopt them this month.  Friends had babies and many parties and celebrations were had as well.  God is good!  All the time God is good!

Below is a song that spoke to my heart yesterday in the middle of my grief.

I have a new sister!

What in the world does me getting a new sister have anything to do with adoption?!  Well I will tell you.  When we started out on this crazy adventure to adoption we knew our family would grow at some point.  That if we started fostering one of these sweeties would stick around forever.  What we didn't know was all the other family we would gain.

Little Trevor brought a very special Big Sister into my life.  My sister Shellyne.  For the longest time we would answer with long winded answers about who she was to me or who I was to her.  But I have given up on long answers and decided she is just my sister.  You see just like adoption there was no denying it we were bonded to each other quickly and it was clear that it was a forever bond.

The blessings of adoption span so far beyond what we could hope or dream.  I am thankful that all my children have gained more cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and even an extra Grandma.  

Orphan Sunday: James 1:27

James 1:27 "Religion God our Father finds pure and faultless is this:  to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world."

Our Father in heaven does not want us to sing the right songs, wear the right clothes, be friends with the right people, have our children be perfectly behaved, or a long list of other to-dos.  He wants us to love the least of these (Matthew 25:40).  We get so consumed with looking "good" or "right" that we forget the heart of our father. I think Francis Chan said it best when he said "Adoption is the gospel message".  Our Father in heaven did not create orphans when he created the world.  They are a result of the entrance of sin.  But there is good news there is redemption and God our Father loves to make beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3).   I know not everyone is called to adoption but I do believe more are called then those who actually respond.  During this month I will lay out ways to help that include adoption and then alternatives if you are unable to do so.  I have one simple challenge on this Orphan Sunday.  Pray a very simple prayer.

"LORD how are you calling me to help orphans in my community and abroad.  Please release me from any fear that has kept me from answering your call on my life."

It's a scary prayer I know.  One day we prayed that prayer and we went from wanting to adopt to saying we would foster and didn't need  a "safe" case.  It's a wild adventure caring for orphans no matter how the LORD is calling you to help.  But it is an awesome adventure.  The LORD is passionate about the fatherless so when we partner with him we become closer to him and that is the best part!

This is the day we brought home our sweet Trevor...he was supposed to stay for about a week.  We adopted him 7/26/2013 :)

It's national Adoption month!

Last year I tried to blog everyday in November about orphans and adoption.  So lets do this again.  Today will be simple since it is already 9:30 and I am exhausted!  I know I only have 5 kids I shouldn't be exhausted.

So lets just start with me being thankful that we finalized our sweet sons adoption on July 26th of this year!!!  Here are some photos of the wonderful day!