Skeletons in the closet: A post Halloween post on the reality of human trafficking

Everyday the headlines are full of all sorts of atrocities.  But there is one headline you will rarely ever see.  One headline no one wants to read about.  "Slavery is alive and well in America"  In america there are approximately 300,000-400,000 children commercially sexually exploited.  That number brings me to my knees.

This is national adoption month, and you may be asking yourself why in the world I am talking about sex trafficking during a month dedicated to celebrating adoption.  Well here is your answer in the form of another statistic; 98% of children who are identified as survivors of sex trafficking had previous involvement with child welfare services.

Have you ever thought about what happens to the children who aren't adopted that are in our child welfare system?  Did you know that 5 is considered old when speaking of foster children?


As followers of Christ we are called to defend the cause of the orphan.  Not everyone is called to adopt but we are all called to do something.  And knowing that if 1 family in every 3 churches adopted we would have no more children waiting in America, I think its fair to say we aren't answering the call.

This video may be hard to watch but we have been ignoring this reality for far to long.

Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. Isaiah 1:17

Why new? :Providing for foster youth and why new is so important.

  Some people might think I am being a little extreme when I say we should really try to fulfill foster youths needs with new things.  Well I will do my best to explain why this could make all the difference for these young men and women.

   So to start I would like you to imagine a 6 year old little girl.  She has two younger siblings, they are 3 and 1.  She goes to school everyday and is in the first grade.  She loves playing with dolls and all things sparkly.  Her clothes are tattered and they smell of smoke and must.  When she gets home from school her "chores" await her.  She changes diapers, gets bottles, prepares dinner, and tries to clean up the house.  This is all while her parents are so loaded they have no idea what is going on and when they happen to be more aware they are usually fighting.

  One night things get out of control, the neighbors call law enforcement who arrive with a social worker in tow.  The social worker takes the children to the office and starts making phone calls to find a foster home.  They find a home for the 1 and 3 year old but they can't take the 6 year old too.  The children are separated.  You see in the world of foster care 6 is old.

  So fast forward a few years.  The biological parents are unable to reunify with their children, the 1 and 3 year old siblings have been adopted together, but the sweet 6 year old is now 8 and has lived in 4 different homes.  With every move she sinks deeper into herself.  She wonders why no one loves her.  Is she unlovable?  She starts to try to cause the rejection in new homes.  Almost like trying to rip the band aid off hoping it won't hurt so badly the next time someone gives up on her.

   So there you have it an 8 year old little girl who feels as though no one will ever love and that all she is worth is second best.  At this point she will likely continue to bounce from home to home.  Growing up in foster care never feeling like she has a place to call home.

  What would it mean to this sweet girl if someone came into her life and handed her something new.  A pair of pants she looked at but felt she wasn't worth.  Those beautiful boots.  Or that trendy jacket.  What if we treated her as we did our own children instead of cleaning out our closets of unwanted out of date clothing we got her something new.  Something she desired.

  That right there is why I believe it is so important to buy foster youth new things.  Things they desire no matter how silly we may think it seems.  Many of these children have never been given something new their whole life.  So when you hear a 16 year old girl in foster care is asking for Doc Martins don't brush it off and say she should be happy with whatever she gets.  Think about the sweet girl who has been rejected so many times that she feels unlovable.

If you think I am being extreme please ask me and I will share personal stories where I know that the simple act of something new made a difference for a child.

In remembrance of my sweet friend Lisa

Today we celebrated the life of our sweet friend Lisa Showalter.  So many sweet words and memories were shared about her.  She was and is greatly loved.  Below is what I shared at her service today.

First I want to say that I am honored to be standing here today sharing about Lisa.  Lisa’s parent asked me to share about our tradition of watching call the midwife.  I know you are all surprised she would love this show.  Our call the midwife nights consisted of chocolate, giggles, my twins, and birth talk.  Sometimes there were tears and hugs about hard things to. This had become our weekly get together, we always knew in the busyness of life we could count on call the midwife night to be together.  One of the sweet and funny stories that stood out from those nights was the night that Lisa tried to convince Rebecca, Melinda, and I that she had a big butt.  I’m not even sure how it came up, I just remember her strutting across the living room saying “see! Don’t you see how big it is.” 

As I reflect on my bond with Lisa on who she was and is in my life I have acknowledge that our relationship was so much more then these nights.  We have an eternal bond.  Lisa and I are sisters in Christ.  I didn’t say goodbye to her the night before she passed.  I said I love you I will see you later.

One of Lisa’s gifts is being a wonderful encourager.  On March 25^th of this year Lisa wrote me a note that said “You are a great mom Anastasia.  I hope you see that.  And a great friend.  I hope you see that too.”

Lisa truly held the gift of encouragement and she always made me smile.  As I think of what would Lisa want all of you to know…I think it would be something like this.  I am not dead!  My body is gone but my spirit live on.  I am with my LORD and Savior.  It is beautiful here.  He held me through all of this, he loved me through all of this.  I am healed and I am whole.  Please don’t miss you everyday blessings and his still small voice whispering I love you.

This is the last picture I have with Lisa and Ava.

Romans 8:38-39

Mary did you know?

One of my favorite songs during Christmas and in general is the song "Mary did you know?".  As a mother I can so easily relate to Mary.  I remember my labor pains well and I can only imagine what Mary's labor was like.  Her first labor and she was birthing the son of God.  As much as I can relate to Mary I cannot fathom what that must have been like.  As someone who knows what it feels like when the Holy Spirit is present in a real way I can't even begin to imagine how thick the air was that night.  Just she and Joesph as she labored and worked to delivery this baby.

Then i begin to think about her caring for him. There is this line in the song "This child that you delivered, will soon deliver you."  Can you imagine looking at your baby that you delivered and knowing that he will deliver you?

As we enter into Christmas with our families and the trees are surrounded by presents let us remember that a baby boy with a humble beginning came to save this broken world.  Let us remember that as he left earth to sit at the right hand of the LORD he asked us to be his light in this world.  He wants to save the world through us.  Just like Mary we are just ordinary people but God wants to use us to do something extraordinary.  It will take faith.  It means casting aside fears.  It means not caring what other people think when you love radically.

Can you imagine Mary and Joesph this is our son Jesus he is the son of God.  People probably thought they were crazy.  People probably ridiculed them.  Some probably talked about Joesph as the man who took care of another mans child.  They carried on as though they knew they were carrying the light of the world.  

My challenge to you this Christmas season is to remember that Christs light shines through you and that light shines brightest in the dark.

Reflecting on Adoption Day

On Friday November 22nd we adopted our twins.  A boy and a girl named Luke and Ava.

This year we completed two adoptions!  Life is wild when you truly say yes to wherever the LORD leads.  Many people tell us we are blessing these sweet children, but I am here to tell you it is the other way around.  Trevor, Luke, and Ava have brought more joy into our lives then I could have ever dreamed of!  We have gained Aunties and Uncles. Cousins and Grandparents.  Our heart is full with the love that surrounds us.  What has happened through our adoptions is not of this world.  

Adoption is love.  Just as we are adopted as sons and daughters of God because of his great love for us.  To quote a friend adoption takes something broken and makes it whole.

So here we are all 7 Stone's

Isaiah 61:3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion-

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

instead of ashes,

the oil of Joy

instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the LORD

for the display of his splendor.

Praise our LORD for he trades beauty for ashes!  May all 5 of our children follow him all the days of their lives and may they bring him glory in all they do.

Our children are not our own: Loss and life

For the last almost 3 years our family has walked through a lot of loss and unexpected hard things with friends.  We have always had a heart for adoption but the LORD used this losses to change our idea of what that would look like.  Yesterday I was reminded again why we said we would take a child even if they didn't stay forever.  And that is because our children our not our own they are the LORDS we are just entrusted with their care for a time.

So here is a little window into our past 3 years or so.  My husbands college pastor's 5 year old daughter was diagnosed with a rare form a cancer that wound up taking her life earlier this year.  A dear friend was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer and passed away a few months later. I was with another friend while she labored and her daughter was born into the arms of Jesus. Then this year a dear friend was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia and she almost passed away more then once. A friend had a referral for and international adoption and before they were able to bring him home he went to be with the LORD.  And then most recently a friends child was given a diagnosis that was devastating about half way through her pregnancy.  He was born on Monday and they had wonderful hour with him before he went to be with the LORD.

Wow I look back at that and think how did all of that happen in such a short amount of time. I guess you might say "aren't you angry with God?"  I'm not mad, I do sometimes ask why, and then I remember this is a fallen world full of sickness and disease.  If the LORD answered me why I probably wouldn't understand.  I just need to trust him and lean on him. I try to remember the verse  "Jesus wept."  Jesus knew he would raise Lazarus from the dead yet he wept.

All of this loss has reminded my heart that my children belong to LORD that my husband belongs to the LORD.  My everything is the LORDS.  I need to savor each moment as if it were my last.  And in the midst of the tears to remember "Death has died and Love has won!"

I am thankful that one day there will be no more tears.  I am thankful that the LORD overcame death.  I am thankful that he grew babies in my tummy.  I am thankful that he placed babies in my home through adoption.  I am thankful he didn't tell me what that journey would have looked like or I might not have stepped out.  He has called us to put one foot in front of the other.  To treat every day as a gift.  And to not be afraid of death.

So today I will love my babies.  I will have parenthood parties on the oncology unit with my sweet friend.  I will care about the important things and not worry about the things that don't matter.  I will let go of religious rules and just love.  I won't try to be super-mom.  I will be vulnerable and real.  Today I will rebuke fear and step out in faith saying yes to wherever the LORD may lead.

I want to add that it is so often true that Joy and sorrow flow mingled down.  almost exactly two years ago our we received our first foster placement a baby boy.  We adopted him on July 26th of this year.  and in March his biological twin siblings were placed with us.  We will adopt them this month.  Friends had babies and many parties and celebrations were had as well.  God is good!  All the time God is good!

Below is a song that spoke to my heart yesterday in the middle of my grief.

I have a new sister!

What in the world does me getting a new sister have anything to do with adoption?!  Well I will tell you.  When we started out on this crazy adventure to adoption we knew our family would grow at some point.  That if we started fostering one of these sweeties would stick around forever.  What we didn't know was all the other family we would gain.

Little Trevor brought a very special Big Sister into my life.  My sister Shellyne.  For the longest time we would answer with long winded answers about who she was to me or who I was to her.  But I have given up on long answers and decided she is just my sister.  You see just like adoption there was no denying it we were bonded to each other quickly and it was clear that it was a forever bond.

The blessings of adoption span so far beyond what we could hope or dream.  I am thankful that all my children have gained more cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and even an extra Grandma.